Emotional Weather Report

Been up and down, mostly down, for about a year now. Sometimes feel like I’m at breaking point, but there’s been so many it’s become routine. On the bright side, everybody prefers sand to pebbles. I’ll be easier to walk over and will look great in sunset shots. And as the tide goes out, it will almost be romantic.
I’m better at my job (all of them). Haven’t been yelled at by a boss for a long time. I’m even sought after; like I’m a man you can rely upon. I get on better with people, but I still don’t want to get too close. Maybe I should trust you, but I don’t.
I’m resigning myself to never getting justice. The guy who sexually abused me when I was ten is still at liberty, living the good life abroad. Though other boys have come forward with similar complaints, the crown prosecution service say that an extradition order is unlikely to succeed due to his poor health.
But I’m not sure if that even bothers me anymore. I no longer hyperventilate or get into rages; the triggers have been disassembled. There are so many news stories detailing suffering much worse than mine, I no longer feel the right to be angry.
This year has seen a dramatic increase in creativity. Often feels like I’m on fire. Though to put this in perspective, a hot day for me is like a lukewarm one for J.K.Rowling.
But I have a new full length novel coming out soon. For me it feels like I have pulled off the impossible, redefined storytelling, solved the worlds problems and written a sizzling entertainment, but another voice says, “Who you kidding, fool?”
So there’s a dazzling winter sun in the east and storm clouds coming in from the west. I, as always, am heading west.
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One thought on “Emotional Weather Report

  1. Thank you for your continued sharing. I’ll never know what it means to you, but I do know what it means to others. You are still a writing inspiration and I’m definitely looking forward to your new work. Heads up, stand tall, I’ve never in my life met an interesting person without scars.

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