Letting Go

Have had a difficult couple of weeks. It’s been like the build up to the siege in The Two Towers. Shutting off all connections with the world beyond the wall and lowering expectations of survival. It’s like a state of mourning; not just for what is lost, but what will go next.
Although it is a mental health issue, I felt it physically. Like being deep underwater. My mind was too shocked and shaken to rationally think my way out of it.
Then on Friday, at about 3 in the morning, and out of the blue, I felt the weight lift. In less than 5 seconds I could think again. Then I was blitzkrieged by my labido. I was back in my body and it felt kind of good being home.
Moods don’t normally switch so quickly. But the last few days this waking up process has continued.
While walking through Cambridge yesterday it was as if gravity was losing its grip and I was only hanging on to the world from the tips of my toes.
I then had a wave of compassion/love/empathy for my fellow shoppers like nothing I have ever felt before. I wondered, “Why have I ever let any of you bother me?”
I’m not a huggy person. But if we had met yesterday, it could have been awkward. For you.


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